Yesterday I was in my drunk/hungover limbo that comes after a night of heavy drinking, as was my friend Travis (though we had attended separate drinking venues), so we wanted to go eat lunch together. Obviously, we wanted to eat total crap, as drinking heavily gives you license to do so the next day without guilt.
A couple of weeks earlier, a flier had found its way into my girlfriend's car and then found its way under my gaze:
Obviously this looks delicious and amazing. Also, obviously, it looks too good to be true (or, more accurately, too good to be good). But, as always, I had to know what lies behind such a flier. The drunk/hungover limbo was the perfect opportunity.
Travis and I discussed what was probably in store for us. I felt secure in my belief that no matter how low the quality of the food would be, as long as there was ranch, I'd be happy enough.
We walked into this place that was roughly half the size of the living room in my apartment. I couldn't even see the buffet and was growing concerned until Travis pointed out that it was simply the counter to the left of the cashier, a counter about 4 1/2 feet long. Obviously the $5.99 buffet price was one of the intriguing and seemingly wonderful things about this place that pulled us in. Well the crafty bastards charged $3 dollars for the sodas they know we'll need to drink with this greasy crap. They did have Diet Dr. Pepper, thank "god", proving just how well they know what's up. By the time I'd paid tax and the .50 a piece for 2 things of ranch (yeah, of course they charge for the effing ranch), I'd spent 11 dollars at this place.
Well, there were a couple of decent flavors of chicken, the fries weren't bad, the catfish wasn't good enough to eat more than once, the hush puppies were okay but mostly fry, and the salad was as I had predicted, just a bowl of lettuce in the corner. I had to keep eating fries until I had used a significant amount of the second cup of ranch, so as not to officially waste it and my money.
These people are out and out great capitalists really - there was even a slot machine in this maybe 300 square foot place.
